Why Are You Unhappy? : 8 Reasons Why You Are Holding Yourself Back
14 May 2015
Happiness is important to everyone. We seek it while in pursuit of our goals. When we see ourselves making progress towards our goals, we feel happier. When we don’t however, we have little reason to. And when you don’t feel happy, you can get really frustrated trying to make significant progress in your life. So how do we ensure that we are consistently making progress, so that we feel happier a lot more? The answer lies in our thoughts and actions. You are probably holding yourself back from experiencing the happiness and progress you crave. Here are 8 reasons why.
1. You Are Content With The Status Quo
This simply means that you are okay with the way things are. Too often I have asked colleagues “How was your day?”, only to get the reply, “Horrible. The worst day ever. But I guess that is how life is”. Up until recently, I used to respond in the same exact way.
But who said that life had to be that way? Who is telling you to view life that way? Who is holding a gun to your head and insisting “You will wake up every day of your life and accept all that comes your way. Got it!?”
Since it’s an undesirable circumstance, can it be changed? How can it be changed? Who can change it?
I will let you figure this one out. But if you accept the way things are in YOUR life, don’t ever expect them to change. You can’t have it both ways. Only those that refuse to accept their situation now, are half-way through the process of changing it.
2. You Complain All The Time
It is true and inevitable that people will wrong you. Or that circumstances will not always flow in your favor. However, how will complaining help things change? What power does complaining have in correcting significant problems in your life?
The truth is that you are probably focused on what’s wrong with everything around you as opposed to appreciating the other good that exists as well. Some even are convinced that world is consistently determined to make them fail.
If your life was truly an unfortunate one, you would be deaf, blind, mute, without limbs, uneducated, without a cent, without a friend, without a relative, without food, without shelter, with out a means to travel, without a bed, without a single ray or hope.
In essence… dead.
If more people complained just as much, you would never want to be around them. How many people avoid you because all you do is complain when they are with you? Surprising how most would rather complain about an issue, rather than do something about it.
3. You Surround Yourself With Negative Influences
It’s a misguided understanding that those who have acquired immense wealth (without violating the rights of others), surround themselves with people of equal financial status.
Though it may seem that way, the truth is usually that the successful enjoy the company of the success-minded. I doubt anyone that attained their riches from hardship and struggle would surround themselves with the undisciplined rich whose idea of a productive week is non-stop partying on a tropical island.
Don’t kid yourself. You are the average of the 5 people you spend most of your time with. In the company of the success driven, you become success driven. In the company of time wasters, you become a time waster.
4. You Prevent Yourself From Taking Action
Especially in today’s world when the solution to any problem you are facing is only a Google Search away. Anything you want to learn, do or excel at is easily accessible to you.
Google “How do I become rich in the next 1 year” and be amazed by the number of search results that avail themselves to you. Ready to unleash the secrets and powers to realizing what your heart desires.
You see, I am convinced that life can give you all that you desire. But you must be ready to pay the price. The price is nothing other than bold action, hard work and persistence. Is making progress towards success still an unthinkable concept now?
If yes, I’m sorry to have wasted your time with this post… and blog. If no, then eliminate excuses, procrastination and begin to succeed.
5. You Are Not Hungry To Grow
If your desire to do nothing over the weekend is greater than your desire to achieve your goals, well… you must be okay with how your life is going. In which case, this post is not for you.
I’m giving it to you straight. The number of people that want to succeed but have no desire to… is unbelievably high. They call their need to succeed desire, but it’s really not. You cannot mistake true desire. Once you see it, you will recognize it.
Let’s say someone “desires” to establish a multi-million dollar enterprise in the next two years, constantly thinking about it. Yet, goes calmly to sleep every night at 9 PM, having watched several movies and spent several hours on social media sites. Moreover, always plans weekend road trips around the country. Yet hasn’t even done a small amount of research on starting enterprises.
There is no desire there.
Most people are on a never ending quest to find out the secrets to attain success, but only a handful of people are willing to take the action necessary to get there. No number of blog posts on success will ever help the person trying to succeed if they don’t act.
6. You Give Up Easily
Less than a handful of people persist, not quitting on the first sign of a setback. Success is not easily attainable because only geniuses know exactly what to do, at the exact time, under exact circumstances to attain success. The rest of us have to try, fail and try again until we eventually figure out the right formula or plan.
This is key. The right plan. You aren’t born knowing the exact set of actions needed to make you successful. You must go in search of them. You must learn them. You must apply them. If they don’t work, you must seek others until you find the right set of actions necessary to attain that specific goal.
I have failed more times than I have had noticeable victories. It’s just that people don’t share their failures as much as they do their successes. Learning to make music, graphics, software and games was no easy thing for me.
People come up with all sorts of names for my situation right now saying that it’s because of “talent” and “the right education” that I’m able to do what I do. It’s all a lie.
We all start at the same starting line. While others give up during a stumble, I pick myself up and continue to cover as much ground as I possibly can. Because I have to believe I can finish my race. Persistence can make a winner out of anyone. Persistence also ensures that once you win, you will never have to lose again.
7. You Do Not Believe In Yourself
Before you become successful, you must first think it. I wrote about it in a previous article What You Think Of Most, Becomes Your Reality. There is no hope for the man or woman who declares him or herself unworthy of the success they crave.
“If not you, then who?”.
Negativity has a way of influencing your mind to believe that you are a lot more powerless than you think you are. Mere men, harnessed the power of lightning. Domesticated it, and called it electricity. Today is used to power the gadgets that you enjoy using.
They are perceived to be geniuses, yet their true genius was a result of their boldness to act with the absolute faith they had in themselves. They believed, without a single ounce of doubt, that they could attain whatever they desired to attain.
Do you have a mindset like this? Or do you dismiss the idea and instead, put in place negative idea that you aren’t capable of attaining what you crave? Could it be possible that the secret to you attaining your success, begins with a thought?
8. You Do Not Have An Idea What You Want
This is the most important one of all. I say it’s important only because this was what had me miserable for years. More than a decade actually.
Let this be my greatest advice to you: Spend time figuring out what exactly you want to accomplish in life. Make sure that you clearly see it. You clearly define it. If you need help, seek the council of someone older, wiser and hopefully more accomplished. Ask them to help guide you in picking a passion and deriving a goal from it.
You can spend an eternity wandering aimlessly not feeling content with anything at all. You may get a little money, you may acquire some riches, but if you do not have a goal you are aiming for… it will be hard to justify why you are doing whatever it is you will be doing. This is one of the major reasons for unhappiness.
Which of the two sounds most attractive to you? – Making lots of money doing what you love to do every single day, or making lots of money doing what you absolutely hate doing every single day.
When you pick a passion, you can grow yourself towards it. Meaning, all the courses you enroll in, all the opportunities you get, and all the focus around developing yourself, will be inline with what you ultimately want to accomplish. Before most good writers become writers, they read good writing, they enroll in writing courses, they develop their language… etc.
Stop making excuses and start making progress. The world loves a winner. It never has time for a loser. And you have never lost, unless you think and act like you have. The key to your happiness lies within your willingness to become happy. And happiness is tied to success. Start succeeding, and you will find happiness and fulfillment in all that you do.
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