Asking Empowering Vs Disempowering Questions
24 April 2017
There’s a considerable amount of strength one has to possess to survive the setbacks you inevitably go through in life. This is even more important if you are going to decide to pursue your passion or a significant goal.
Because pursuing a meaningful goal for the first time is hard on YOU. The goal itself may not even be necessarily “hard”, but that is what an inexperienced goal-seeker often feels.
This is how most of us start our journey. No wonder success stories are rare. How many victories in war can you expect from an army of soldiers that have never even once been on a battlefield, or attended boot camp or any prior physical training?
And yet many of us rush in head-first into our pursuits without thinking about this. When we stumble or fail, we hardly look at inexperience as being the first reason why we haven’t succeeded. Instead, we blame things we don’t have control over. The economy, the market, the competition, the weather, the timing, the customers.
For those of us who quit, sometimes we take away from our negative experience a negative way of reasoning or thinking about a lot of situations.
Those of us who persist and continue to “fail-forward” often take away from any experience a more positive way of reasoning or thinking about what we go through in our efforts to try to succeed.
How many people do you know who often say, “why is life so hard?”, “how come things are just getting worse?”, “why do my ideas fail every time?”, “why is it easier for them while it’s harder for me?”, “why am I so unlucky?”, “why me?”.
I have come to notice that a considerable number of arguments are started by the person who speaks first. Because more often than not, that person is setting the mood.
And another considerable number of arguments are started by the person who responds to the person who spoke first. Because more often than not, that person is upsetting the mood.
Are there phone calls that you think twice about picking up? Why is that?
Are there phone calls you never mind picking up no matter the time of day? Why is that?
This same “philosophy”, if I may call it that, applies to the life of a dreamer. Many people who succeed, do so because of their mind’s orientation. The mind that refuses to live in any negative state.
When faced with any form of setback, the first significant question to ask after absorbing the blow of disappointment isn’t “Why do my ideas always fail?” but instead it could be “What am I missing? What did I not see?”. And usually, after some time has been spent in deep thought, almost always a solution pops up. Imagine how you would feel in that moment?
This is what I see when I observe how certain people react to situations.
This game isn’t about going through the pursuit flawlessly. It’s about learning the truth about the pursuit.
Would you really fail in your business venture if you knew exactly what to do, how to do it, when to do it, for who you should do it and why should do it?
Let me answer that for you: NO!
But it is because you lack this exact knowledge, you lack the exact plan, set of skills, etc… that you aren’t there yet.
The more you learn what not to do… the closer you get to what you should do. It’s not magic or talent… it’s actually common sense. You can’t spend 10 years failing in the same industry, trying out different things… without gaining anything valuable.
And if you do, I think I can help you a new business venture. Consulting. Find out what mistakes others will make before they make them. Save them millions before they make the wrong decisions.
You can choose to build a case against what I have said. But I can’t. I’d rather spend my time thinking and asking how it will work, not why it will fail.
You cannot succeed without learning about yourself and what you would like to do with yourself. And the best way to learn is to ask questions that challenge you to think that you can grow as opposed to asking yourself questions that force you to label yourself untalented.
It’s really all about mindset orientation. This is how you begin to develop the strength needed to help you get the life you desire most. Practising the art of asking the right questions every time you are faced with the opportunity to grow (which often presents itself in the form of setbacks), is like taking your mind to the gym.
Imagine what your mind would be like after a consistent 5 years of training in that gym.
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