Self Development Blog

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Self Development

How To Deal With The Fear Of Failure


Among many of the fears we face as aspiring achievers is the fear of failing. You want to pursue your dream but there’s a constant feeling in the back of your mind saying that you might fail. It ultimately discourages you forcing you to rethink whether pursuing that dream is even an option. This is completely normal. And what’s great is that there is a way to overcome this feeling.

I think it begins with redefining failure. Because to me failure is when you stop. When you accept that you have been defeated by an obstacle. It’s really that simple. You see the truth is that with most “failures” you can actually recover from. You may initially think that you have hit a dead end, but all you may need to do is take a detour.

Years ago when I was considering becoming a game developer, I realized that I would have to get familiar with programming. I had tried day after day to create my first game. But I always hit a brick wall. The kind of coding that was required to make even the simplest game, to me, felt overwhelming. I was almost sure that I wouldn’t be able to ever understand it.

However, I’m thankful I have a stubborn spirit. I took it as an opportunity to just take a step back and find an alternative route. I didn’t say good bye to my dream of become a game developer. I just said hello to the opportunity to learn something else that would ultimately lead me back on the path to becoming one. Web design and development.

This is what I think is the amazing and mysterious thing about pursuing dreams. You can only give up, when you have given up. Unless you yourself say “I’m calling it quits”, then nothing truly is the end.

Another thing I do less of when pursuing goals these days is make assumptions. I find it paralyzing to envision a negative outcome based on facts that have no backing. For instance, saying to myself that I won’t be able to sell the video games I make because there won’t be a market for it. These are the kind of things you will never know until you put it out there.

Making assumptions makes you feel like you understand how everything works. Which is usually not true. Experience is what gives you that. And you can never get experience without getting your offer out there. Testing the waters, as they say.

If you insist on making assumptions, I suggest creating “positive” assumptions. Ask yourself what would be possible if everything worked in your favor. Envision the possibilities. Because this is motivating enough to keep you going. Also it provides you with a best-case-scenario to work towards creating, which in itself, is a pretty useful strategy.

Lastly, I would remind myself of what’s important. I mean you can’t ignore the fear. You can’t pretend it won’t affect you. You just need to empower your desire to succeed. Is the fear that is holding you back greater than your desire to achieve? If no, then you are on the right the path. Nothing is easy. We accept that. But should that be the end. No. Press on.

If you have gone through or are going through a similar experience, please feel free to share it below. Hopefully we can identify an option you could take to keep you on the path of doing what you know is important to you. I also invite you to give a suggestion or comment on the topic.

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  • Mary!

    it is true that the fear of failure is prevalent, but we should take a failure as a lesson, and not be afraid to stand when we fall, as human is to err, we should take the failures as positive lessons of what to do to improve ourselves.

    • very very true. I couldn’t agree more. Mistakes and failures should be treated as lessons and not conclusions for whatever it is we working towards accomplishing. I love the quote by Thomas Edison which says “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10000 ways that won’t work.”